Social?!? I'll show you social!!!!....

I just don't get along with people. One on one I can do OK, but i'm selective about who I will even talk to. Other than that, people just irk me. Don't get me wrong, I've gone out with large groups of friends and had fun, on occassion I've even been the center of attention. But for the most part, I'd rather just be left alone. Not that I dislike everyone, I just don't get the getting together thing. It can be tedious and the conversation is often rather inane.

Technodoohickies....

I am the biggest geek for anything electronic that can do anything remotely cool. I want an infrared thermometer for Christmas just so I can sit on the couch and check what the temperature of the windows across the room is. However, there are times when even the best gizmos are packed so poorly or unnecessarily that they impair functionality; this is a problem.

Case in point: The following conversation was relayed to me today by a friend, I have had a similar experience.

Friend: I'd like to buy a new cell phone.

Cell Phone Guy: Great, which one would you like.

F: I'm not sure.

CPG: Well, let's figure out what you need. Do you need a camcorder?

F: No.

CPG: Do you need a digital Camera?

F: No.

CPG: Do you need satellite television?

F: No.

CPG: Do you need it to make daiquiris?

F: No.

CPG: Groom your dog?

F: No.

CPG: A ringer that sounds like someone is burping?

F: No.

CPG: Tell you what the going postal rate is Uruguay?

F: No.

CPG: Well what do you want then?

F: I'd like to punch a numerical sequence into a key pad, then be able to talk to someone and hang up when I'm done.

CPG: Oh.....hmmmm.....The current generation of cell phones has made voice communication obsolete. We no longer offer those options.

Quotes from the weekend......

Them-(while looking to me for reassurance) "I am opperating under the assumption that these big rocks aren't going to fall and crush us."
Me-"Me too."

-"Foil makes the chicken taste like magic!"

-"This is easy for me, I'm half goat."

-"Was I unaware of the natural instinct to only crap on top of a rock?"

-"So far we have seen: ducks, geese, llamas, cows, goats.....and maybe a unicorn."

-"We need to vent the tent."

-"If I stopped breathing the smoke I probably wouldn't feel so light headed."

-"I have conquered everything here, let's go."

Uncanny......

I was informed today that every time prince charles has gotten married, the pope died the same year. Coincidence? Probably not.

If the anglican prince can kill the leader of the catholic world, should we be concerned that the new nazi boy pope taking the throne will kill the leader of the jews? or maybe that job will fall to Arnie, the governor of california and son of a nazi officer. though his taking office has already led to the killing of gay marriage.

maybe every time Castro has a birthday a capitalist pig dies....someone should look into this stuff.

The geniuses behind intelligent design tell me that this must all be being orchestrated by a higher power. (which would in turn tell us that catholicism isn't the right religion).

More than a little ashamed.....

baggiegenes: Saturday is national d&d day.
baggiegenes: My bday just went +1. <------- Sarcasm
Kiquadaso:Wow.
Kiquadaso: Looks like there's a paricipating location in Houston.
baggiegenes: oh yay....just a second while I put on my hat-of-infinite-apathy
Kiquadaso: Is it a silly hat?
baggiegenes: given the title, would i care if it were?
Kiquadaso: Just checking.

Truely Smrt....

My exam question: How have scientists used forensic DNA technology to determine the cause of death of bodies hundreds of years old?

Their answer: Scientists use DNA. In the case of the russian czar they determined that the bodies of his daughters were dead.

Seriously, this was a real answer. This is a college kid. Not a science major, but a kid at a university that many consider prestegious. I wish i could have been there for this person's admissions interview:

"Oh wow, kid your credentials are very impressive. You only missed one question on the SAT. That question was 'which is your ass, and which is a hole in the ground'."