What's in a name?

I work with a guy named Hai (pronounced Hi). I have never spoken a word to him, but I like him. This is because his name rectifies the calamity that has been plaguing my life. When someone approaches I agonize over whether to greet them with an informal salutation or by name. For this individual it is one in the same.

I will never hire anyone in the future unless their name is:

hai
howdi
wassup
howsitgoin
guh-mornin
bobert