We must all learn the hard lessons of life....

Funerals are hard enough, but it would be worse if there were a lot of kids there. But you have to take them. To teach them that life does end. Sometimes with a disease, sometimes with a truck, sometimes with a laced cup of coffee graciously brought to you by your gold digging wife who can't wait to get her hands on your insurance. So next time I am at a funeral, I will be especially mindful of the children. I will give a eulogy written in the Dr. Suess style so that they may be entertained by the whimsical nature of mourning and grief.

Fred is dead.

dead is Fred.

We all are sad.

sad, sad, sad.

But it is not all bad.

What a great life Fred had.

Now he's packed in a box.

With his hat and his socks.

Covered with dirt and rocks.

But he left you some cash.

From his big secret stash.

We all thought he was cheap.

But so much money he did keep.

Now it is ours to share.

And spend with flare.

He used to skip out on the check.

Now he is paying off my debt.

So I shall be the first to say so long.

I, for one, am better off with you gone.

To see the little smiles on his kid's face as I read this fun little narrative of my feelings for their father. Oh the joy they must feel, with the rhyming and the fun. I am the bringer of merriment and mirth, even as others reap your souls.