Stay away from the crazies!

I'd hate to date a crazy person. Mostly because my repetoir of suave moves would be rendered useless against the cerebral dishelvement in which my prey would live.

Case in point: After about a month of dating someone it is usually good to say "tell me something about you I don't know". When it is my turn I usually have some scripted tripe about crying during Steel Magnolias or enjoying reading The Joy Luck Club in highschool so that I appear sensitive and understanding. I would expect to hear something endearing like "I have a teddy bear I still sleep with" or "I used to have a crush on Zach Morris". But with a crazy she would fire back with something like "Sometimes my rectum bleeds uncontrollably" or "I've always wanted to strangle someone while they slept". The crazy would then think that you shared and intimate moment and would want to be closer to you, and I would just want to change my name to Javier Sanchez and live out the rest of my life as a file clerk safely tucked away in the anonymity of rural Wisconsin.

Yeah, it would suck to be stuck with a crazy and all their personalities and pyschotropic drugs and alcoholism. But really, who am I kidding? I should be happy with what I can get. My only pick up line is "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?".