The Influences of Popular Culture

I grew up in The Woodlands, Texas. A very waspy upper-middle to mid-upper class suburb on the north side of Houston. Lots of golf, tennis, soccer moms, happy white families with 2.6 children. You know, the standard Mecca for hip-hop and hard urban music growing up. Some of my earliest memories are sitting out on the stoop in my Lacoste shirt with the little alegator on it, and my bugle boy jeans, bobbing my head to A Tribe Called Quest. Living in this harsh suburban environment allowed me identify with the stress, pain, and frustration my musical idols were also experiencing in the borroughs of new york and in the gang riddled areas of southern california.

The music i grew up listening to not only shaped my hard edged persona and steely cold demeanor but also set forth a list of goals that young men of the street, such as my self, must aspire to achieve. The following is my list of tasks that I feel I must complete for my life to be complete and references to the music that inspired them.

*Get Busy in a Burger King Bathroom -- If it's good enough for Humpty, it's good enough for me. And if I could find a girl that was down with that, she'd be up for all kinds of stuff. But that is a whole other, much less PG list.

*Get Silly with a Nine Milly Like What's the Dealy Yo -- Not exactly sure how to do this, but if it involves bringing forth a shower of flaming hot hollow point lead then I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon.

*I must, one day, Jump on it -- Sounds like a good time, and the first verse let's me know that it is very possible in Texas. Also Sir Mix-a-lot endorses it, and he has never lead me astray.

*Name my kids ghetto names, like little mookie, big al, lorraine -- I think this one speaks for itself. How cool would that be to go to a t-ball game and watch your kid throw someone out at first and get to yell "Little Mookie Owns you Foo'!"?

*Put together a Posse that is down to ride no matter what -- To do this first i'll have to start a gang. I'm working on that, just need to pick a name so I can start recruiting. I will call my crew either: 1. the West U Soul Reapers, and having everyone wear a black headband and have a brand of a scythe on their backs. or 2. Team Discovery Channel and have everyone buy a museum membership. Tough call.

*Not only be down with OPP, but down with a discount -- This is hard because it requires a partner who is also down.

*Get Funky on the Mic like an old Batch of Collard Greens -- I'm from the south, so I know just how funky that is, and damn, it would be sweet to get that funky.

*One day, I hope to be able to Pass the Courvoisier -- Seems like something all the cool kids are doing, why not me too?

Well that's about it. The things I must complete before I die in order to be fulfilled. Any of you other wiggers out there want to hook a homie up on some of these, just holla.