How much do you worship me?

Due to popular demand, my fan club is now open for business.

I am now taking applications. Please include:

Name
Age
Address

and answer the following questions:

How have I changed your life?

How many people would you be willing to kill for a chance to meet me?

Also, recopy and sign the following statement:

I hereby pledge my loyalty and service to Blair. I solmnly swear to regard him as royalty and scream like a school girl if I ever see him in person. I also vow to pledge my devotion by naming all children after him.

The membership dues are $5 a year, payable to "I wish Blair was really rich" fund.