Kids say the darndest things.....

Editors note: Idea from a Badnews Blonde


When I was a little kid growing up in the Mid 80's one of the groups that was gaining the most power was Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). Had i been older, I would have figured that they were the front for an organized crime ring posturing to take over the world. Anyways, some how these people managed to purchase 80+% of all comercial time for a few years.

These commercials would show bloody car wrecks or tombstones and then say something like "If you drink and drive, YOU WILL DIE!" Being 6, these commercials scared the crap out of me. These commercials may have led to my psychological aversion to the Fraggles.

At the same time, Diet Pepsi was putting crack syringes in their drinks to corner a good share of the soft drink market. My mother was a corporate sell out and very prone to subliminal messages, so she immediately decided that drinking 4 gallons of that crap a day was the best idea ever. To consume this quantity in a day, my mother carried around a big ass mug that was contantly filled with the Aspertame delivery solution.

Any time my mom would take us anywhere she would be guzzling from that cup the whole time while driving. After being exposed to these MADD commercials all day every day, seeing my mom drinking something while driving convinced me that each and every car ride was destined to end my firery death. I would sit in the passenger seat clinching the door with a death grip and eyes glued shut.

One day, I couldn't contain myself any more and blurted out "mom, if you drink and drive we are all going to die!" She snorted into her soft drink, turned to me, and in the most motherly tone said "they mean alcohol you idiot".